What is it?
Love-bombing usually (not always) occurs at the start of a relationship. This is evidenced when one person is over-affectionate, over compliments, buys lavish or expensive gifts, and wants to be with you all the time or have “check in texts”. This is not an exhaustive list but the most common.
But isn’t it nice to be loved…
You can’t beat genuine love BUT love-bombing is not this. The emotions are excessive and used as a tactic to “mask” other behavior being displayed – “so what if I did that, what about that nice weekend away we had” or by way of “gaslighting” (placing the blame on to the other person to explain their actions). The love bombing is used to “reel” the other person in and as a method of control. Genuine love allows a person to have space and time and to build a relationship and respect boundaries. Often love bombing does not and will move at a fast pace; the person on the receiving end may feel uncomfortable.
Not a phase
Whilst love bombing is often a “phase”, it is often (not always) short lived and other poor behavior escalates or becomes more frequent.
Is this relevant if nobody listens?
Recent guidance in the criminal courts, (which means the family court is likely to follow the same guidance), has extended the definition of controlling behavior, which is a criminal offence, to include love bombing. This means that it will be taken seriously.
Any form of controlling or coercive behavior can become dangerous for the person on the receiving end. What may start as “minor red flags” can often escalate quickly and beyond control. Doing nothing and hoping that the behavior simply passes is not the best option.
But what can I do?
Being in a controlling relationship can be scary, and it can be even more frightening to leave it. Domestic Abuse organizations/charities will be able to help you make a plan to leave and provide you with support in respect of your options.
If you recognize signs of love bombing in your own relationship or the relationship of a friend/relative, then you may initially make an application under Clare’s Law. This enables you to see disclosure about the other person and find out whether allegations of domestic abuse have previously been made to the police about them.
You can inform the police and make a statement. Police investigations can take time but there are various orders or conditions that the police can consider.
Our family law team can help you and discuss all options to include making an application for a Non-Molestation Order. This is an injunction the Family Court can make to protect you from future behavior. A Non-Molestation Order often prohibits the other person from coming to your home and contacting you, even by social media. A Non-Molestation Order is given to the police and logged by them, as it is a criminal offence to breach it. The Order can also be enforced in the Family Court if appropriate.
Click here to contact a member of our family law team today.
